


i really like the way your hair blows looking back at me

by mazapan13



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Ty Lee (Avatar), F/F, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Mutual Pining, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Zuko and Azula are the siblings they were always meant to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazapan13/pseuds/mazapan13
Summary: Ty Lee could carry Azula’s books with one hand, along with hers, just so she could hold Azula’s hand down the hallway. Like Atlas, she would carry the entire world on her shoulders if it meant she got to hold Azula’s hand. High School!AU.
Relationships: Azula & Mai & Ty Lee, Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 68
Kudos: 487





	1. this feels like some bullshit teenage summer dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :) So I couldn't get this idea out of my head. I'm a sucker for high school aus - the truth is out. I also had to take a break from writing my other fic and what better way to take a break than to write an angsty two-shot - am I right? The inspiration from this fic came from this playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0YfyScDVsQlf3krjGDvr2v?si=wTIxcmNvSxaMKR7zrarM1w. Listen to it if you want for a fuller and angister experience! :) The title comes from carwash's song striptease.

Azula’s lips taste vaguely of cranberry juice and vodka, and Ty Lee wonders if she’ll be addicted to the taste forever thanks to Azula. She wonders what Azula tastes when they kiss, she wonders if she feels like exploding, too. She wonders if Azula tastes infinity, too, if she feels as if the world could collapse outside of this bathroom and it wouldn’t matter, because they are kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing.

They do this every time they are at a party. Correction, they do this every time they’ve had a few drinks on them and are sure no one’s around – that last part is especially important for Azula, Ty Lee wouldn’t mind if people knew. She wants everyone to know who she’s kissing. She wants to scream it from every rooftop in town, wants to print out flyers and hand them to every single living person. She wants Azula to be hers and hers only forever.

Maybe forever is at best a quick make out session in a bathroom though.

Ty Lee snaps out of her thoughts when she feels Azula nipping at her neck. It makes her shudder.

Azula, the girl who didn’t even know how to kiss and begrudgingly (and drunkenly) had asked Ty Lee one time if she could teach her how. It took her some time to take the hang of it, like it happens with everyone, but now she’s even better than Ty Lee ever was. It comes with being a perfectionist, Ty Lee thinks.

They hear a knock on the door and Azula groans.

“Whoever is in there I need to pee! I can’t pee on the plants again or Katara will beat the shit out of me.” The _again_ goes unspoken – they all heard what happened last Friday. Sokka’s voice echoes from the outside. It wouldn’t be audible – Ty Lee’s sure the music can be heard ten blocks from Jet’s house - if he hadn’t screamed so damn loud.

And just like that, it’s over.

They step out of the bathroom, Azula leading the way by pushing past Sokka to go downstairs. He doesn’t suspect anything. No one does. They all think Azula’s too perfect to be anything but straight, and since there are countless boys fawning over Ty Lee all the time, they assume she’s straight too.

Not that Azula’s ever said she’s gay, or that she likes girls, explicitly. They don’t talk about what they do, even if Ty Lee aches to do so. She wants to put a name to whatever it is that they are doing, but she knows that if she ever dares to broach the subject, Azula would end things. She knows Azula too well.

Azula leads the way downstairs, brushing Ty Lee’s hand every so often. Ty Lee savors it, every time their fingers so much as touch even if it’s just slightly.

One look from Azula directed at Zuko and Mai, who are over by the couch, and they know it’s time to leave.

* * *

They play truth or dare at Zuko’s and Azula’s house, taking advantage of the fact that the four of them are drunk and Ozai isn’t home.

“Mai, truth or dare?” Asks Azula, laying on her back in the living room, a joint in her fingers. The four of them always camp out in the living room whenever Mai and Ty Lee sleep over, it’s tradition since they were little kids.

“Dare.” Mai’s usual answer.

“I dare you to call our gym coach and tell him you fucked his wife.” Azula says, passing the joint to Ty Lee after taking a drag.

Mai does as she’s told – the call goes as expected: the coach yells, demands to know who’s calling, tells Mai his wife isn’t a lesbian, and hangs up but not without threatening to call the cops the next time it happens. Last week it had been Ty Lee’s turn, and he said the same thing.

“Zuko, truth or dare?” Mai asks, already knowing the answer.

They all know what everyone will choose by know. Zuko and Ty Lee always pick truth. Mai and Azula always pick dare.

“Truth.” Zuko takes a drag of the joint before passing it over to Azula, completing the circle.

“If you had to pick someone to sleep with, who would it be? Sokka or Suki.” Mai questions her boyfriend, her eyes glossy due to the weed.

“Sokka.” Zuko answers without a beat and Ty Lee giggles. Too predictable of an answer. “Ty Lee, truth or dare?”

“Truth.” She says, looking down at her fingers. They are really close to Azula’s. She could reach out and take Azula’s hand if she wanted to. She could turn her head and kiss Azula on the cheek if she wanted to. And Ty Lee wants to. Azula looks like a princess from this angle. Laying on her back, yet still regal. Her pjs are cute, Ty Lee wonders if they could ever get a matching set. It’d look cute. They’d look so cute together. They already do.

“Have you ever been in love?” Zuko questions, and suddenly the atmosphere thickens. Or is it just her? It must be. She’s high. She was drunk a few hours ago. She’s imagining things, because there’s no way Azula sucked her breath in when Zuko asked the question. Yeah, she’s high.

“Um.” Ty Lee doesn’t know what she should say. Usually she answers questions swiftly, mostly when she’s drunk or high (like right now) and she doesn’t care about the answer. But she cares about _this_ answer. She can’t say anything. She hasn’t lied in _truth or dare_ before, but there’s always a first time for everything. “Not really.” She mumbles, and they all seem satisfied with the answer. No one questions her.

She can feel Azula tensing next to her though – it must be her trip, though. Yeah, it must be the weed.

“Alright, Azula truth or dare?”

* * *

The announcement for the prom comes out on Monday.

“ _’Last Call Before Fall?’_ ” Mai reads out loud, the corners of her mouth tilting upwards a little – the closest Mai can get to smiling when she’s not with Zuko. “Did it take all of your wit and creativity to come up with that one?”

“Well, it _is_ the last call before fall. Seniors will be gone by the end of the year, in the _fall_ , it’s their last call to have fun.” Ty Lee explains, defending the title she came up with honorably. “Suki and the girls said it’s an amazing title.”

“It’s cliché.” Mai says as she slams her locker shut.

“I think it’s great.” Azula states offhandedly, looking at herself in the mirror. “I could’ve come with up something better, but it’s great.”

It’s not exactly a compliment, but Ty Lee will take it. She ignores the way it makes her heart flutter in her chest. She constantly ignores the way her heart does somersaults whenever she’s with Azula – whenever Azula so much as glances in her direction or speaks to her.

“Thank you, Azula.” She says gleefully, sticking her tongue out at Mai.

“Whatever. I’ll catch you later.” And with that, Mai’s off, no doubt running to look for Zuko.

“So, will you be taking anybody?” Ty Lee asks Azula. They know it’s a dead giveaway that Mai will be going with Zuko – he’s a senior, after all, it’s their last call before the fall ( _Hah, it_ is _clever. Suck it Mai.)_ so their usual trio will come down to two.

“I don’t know if anyone’s good enough to get the opportunity to go with me.” Azula responds, taking out the books she needs for their next class. “What about you?” Comes as they are walking side to side down the hall. There’s an inch of separation between them, one that could be closed by lacing their fingers together. Ty Lee could carry Azula’s books with one hand, along with hers, just so she could hold Azula’s hand down the hallway. Like Atlas, she would carry the entire world on her shoulders if it meant she got to hold Azula’s hand.

“I don’t think anyone will ask me.” Ty Lee lies with a shrug, knowing well that she’ll receive at least five invitations by the end of the day. It’s always the same with every dance at school – she’s used to it by now, she’s just not interested.

She knows Azula doesn’t buy her lie. She knows Azula knows her too well, just as she knows Azula.

Azula always lies though, unless she has alcohol in her system and even then, it’s hard to get anything real out of her.

* * *

Ty Lee gets asked out by six different guys by the end of the day - one of them being Haru. He’s been after her for months. A senior, well grounded, smart, captain of the pro-bending team. A teenage girl’s dream. 

Nevertheless, her actual dream is plotting against the barista because he got Ty Lee’s name wrong. _Who mistakes Ty Lee for Dai Li anyway?_

“I’ll slash the tires of his car. He’ll rue the day he got your name wrong. He’ll never rise from the humiliation; it’ll teach him to be humble and to pay attention when his customers tell him their names!”

“Azula, the guy rides a bike. He goes to school with us.”

“I’ll slash the tires of his bike then.”

Ty Lee rolls her eyes but smiles, nonetheless. “Let’s go get a table, and I promise if you still feel like slashing the tires of his bike when we leave, we’ll do it.”

They find a table at the far end corner of the coffee shop. They always get together after school to _study_ , which roughly translates to _gossip_. Azula doesn’t need to study (she does that enough already), Ty Lee studies on her free time, and Mai simply shows up to tests and gets good enough grades so her parents don’t bother her.

Ty Lee tries not to stare at Azula – tries not to notice the way her golden eyes gleam with the sunlight, tries not to look at Azula’s mouth – which in turn would make her yearn for the next party to arrive so they can make out in the bathroom, tries not to scoot a little closer so she can be near Azula. She fails, of course, at all those things, but she hopes Azula doesn’t notice.

Mai arrives fifteen minutes late – in perfect Mai fashion – and plops down on the empty seat reserved for her with a coffee in hand. “I heard Haru asked you to the prom.” She comments, arching an eyebrow at her. “It’s the tenth time he’s asked you out, if I recall correctly.”

“Eleventh.” Azula corrects, suddenly taking an interest in her nails. “He asked her to go with him to that stupid jock party.”

“Azula, you do realize you’re technically a jock, right?” Mai states, and Ty Lee knows it’s taking everything in her not to roll her eyes at Azula. “You _are_ on the pro-bending team.”

“I’m on the pro-bending team because my father said I had to. I’m on the pro-bending team so my college applications are to die for – which they _are._ ” Azula says, forgetting her nails for a second to glare at Mai. “But we’re getting off topic here. You said no.” It’s not a question, yet the question hangs in there silently, Ty Lee can feel it in the way Azula’s gaze is burning into her skull.

“I didn’t say anything.” She admits, now she’s the one suddenly taking an interest in her nails.

“ _You didn’t say anything_? That’s the same as saying no to me.” Azula turns to Mai for reassurance – which is odd, because she never looks at anyone for reassurance _ever_. “Right?”

Ty Lee bites on her lower lip as Mai says, “No. Saying no is a no. If Ty Lee didn’t say anything, then that probably made Haru think he can ask her again.”

“What kind of idiot is he if he thinks that?” Azula says and her and Mai start to bicker, leaving Ty Lee to her own thoughts.

Why hadn’t she said no? She meant to; she really did. She said no to all the other boys but Haru - a part of her thought it was nice to be desired so openly. Haru’s been after her for months after all – hasn’t backed down no matter how many times Ty Lee’s rejected him. Saying no just didn’t feel right, so instead she merely smiled at him and didn’t say anything.

“Whatever. I’m out of here.” Azula announces after what feels like hours of her and Mai’s quarrel. She stands up, gathers her things and leaves without saying goodbye. _Shit, she’s my ride._ Ty Lee only hopes she doesn’t slash the baristas’ tires out of anger – anger at what though? Maybe Azula just had a bad day.

“The princess has left the building.” Mai says after Azula’s gone, turning her full attention to Ty Lee – who doesn’t like the look on her friend’s face, it’s almost as if she’s concerned. “You should say yes to Haru, he could make prom fun for you. He doesn’t have to be anything serious – he’s a senior after all. You can have your fun and never have to see him again.”

“Excuse me?” Ty Lee almost chokes on her coffee at that. What’s Mai trying to imply? That she needs a boy to be fulfilled? That to have a fulfilling high school experience she needs a boyfriend? Mai said Haru doesn’t have to be anything serious, but it sure did sound like she meant Ty Lee’s too boyfriend-less.

Mai sighs and ponders for a few seconds, which unnerves Ty Lee. “Look, I love Azula, I do, despite her tendencies to want to slash random people’s tires and her not-so-secret lust for arson, but you can do better.”

“What- I- What- What?“ Ty Lee stammers, looking at anywhere but at Mai. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Just think about it, okay?” Mai then continues sipping on her coffee as if nothing happened, changing the subject to Zuko, and what dress she should wear to prom. Ty Lee knows the change of subject is more for her benefit, because Mai will probably end up wearing something black to prom – like she always does whenever she has to play dress up.

* * *

“I told Haru you don’t want to go with him, and not to bother you again.” Azula announces during lunch the next day, sitting down next to Ty Lee with an apple in her hand. Ty Lee normally would be worried by how little Azula eats during school hours if not for the fact that she’s suddenly very irritated. “You’re welcome.”

“What?” She snaps, startling the people at the next table. She smiles in their direction before turning, with what she hopes is a very menacing glare, to Azula. “Why did you do that for?!”

“Because you don’t want to go with him.”

Unsurprisingly, that riles Ty Lee up even more.

“Who says I don’t want to go with him?!”

“You.”

“I never said that!”

“You didn’t have to, and like I said, _you’re welcome_.”

Azula’s calmness makes Ty Lee want to strangle her. She could chi block Azula’s arms and legs, so that she’ll be forced to crawl around the school for the rest of the day. That’d prompt Azula to fire bend her hair into oblivion in retaliation though, and Ty Lee loves her hair, so she chooses not to.

“I never said that. He’s cute and he likes me and isn’t afraid to say it. And maybe I do want to go with him!” Ty Lee fumes, her words wiping Azula’s smug grin off her face. “I do want to go with him, and I’ll go tell him in person right now!” She only hopes Azula didn’t scare him off permanently. She storms out of the cafeteria to find Haru, leaving a flabbergasted Azula behind.

She finds him at the end of the day and tells him it was all a misunderstanding. He, surprisingly enough, understands and tells her he’s happy to take her to the prom.

Azula doesn’t speak to her for the rest of the week when she finds out.

* * *

Ty Lee hears from the Mai-Zuko grapevine that Azula hasn’t said much to them either. She barely speaks at all.

She hasn’t stumbled into Azula in the hallways. She walks side to side with Mai – and Zuko – to her classes now. Azula didn’t even speak to her in chemistry – and they are freaking lab partners.

Ty Lee knows she shouldn’t be concerned, that if Azula wants to be in a mood the whole week and act like a child, then so be it.

That doesn’t keep Ty Lee from missing her, though. This is the longest they’ve gone by without speaking in _forever_ and it sucks.

Haru asks her to go with him to Sokka’s party – she says yes. It’s not like Azula is even giving her the time of the day anyway.

* * *

Saturday night rolls around and she’s having a pretty good time so far. They went to dinner before getting to the party and while she uncharacteristically didn’t say much and let Haru do most of the talking, she happened to enjoy herself. Haru is funny, and he doesn’t try too hard. Ty Lee suspects it’s because he’s used to girl-attention – must be nice.

He leaves her to her own devices when his friends roll up. She doesn’t mind, she wants to talk to someone else for a change. She drowns her drink and stands up from her spot on the couch to try to find Mai. Instead, she ends up crashing into Azula.

“Oh, sorry.” She apologizes and musters a small smile. As mad as she is, as infatuating as Azula can get, Ty Lee can’t help but smile at her. It’s as if the corners of her mouth tilt upwards as soon as Azula comes on sight. “Hey.”

Azula doesn’t answer. She reeks of vodka and roses. She reeks of power – it’s compelling.

“You’re not going to speak to me at all? Come on Azula, it’s been three days!” Ty Lee’s _not_ begging. She is not. She just misses Azula so much, and she’s had a few drinks on her so she’ll say anything. She hopes against hope though that she doesn’t indeed say _anything_ – it’d be disastrous, even her drunk self knows that.

Azula still doesn’t answer her, rather, she takes Ty Lee’s hand and drags her upstairs, into the nearest bathroom, and locks the door behind them. It’s a dance Ty Lee knows all the steps to, always letting Azula lead the way and merrily following behind her. Azula’s golden eyes are boring into her own – they don’t betray what she’s feeling. They never do, unless Azula’s furious, then her eyes literally glow as if they are on fire. Ty Lee is thankful Azula can’t fire bend through her eyes – although that’d without a doubt be impressive, many would’ve perished under her gaze by now.

Azula moves in to kiss her and Ty Lee lets her. She’s missed it. She misses every second they are not kissing. She’s sure that if she could do only do one thing for the rest of her life, it’d be to have her and Azula’s lips locked together.

Azula tastes of grape juice and vodka, Ty Lee melts. Azula pushes her against the wall, her hands roaming all over Ty Lee’s body. She’s touching and touching and touching and Ty Lee wishes she would just get on with it. Although losing her virginity in Sokka’s bathroom is not necessarily ideal, she’d do it if it meant her first time would be with Azula.

Abruptly, it stops. Azula backs away and breathes heavily, making Ty Lee frown. “What’s wrong?” She questions, moving to caress Azula’s cheek. Azula doesn’t bat her hand away – which is surprisingly – but she doesn’t melt into the touch either – it’s discouraging, so Ty Lee stops and crosses her arms instead. “Did I do something?”

“You came with Haru.” It’s the most Azula’s spoken to her in days and it makes Ty Lee angry. _Really? That’s all you have to say? So what?!_ Ty Lee wants to scream but doesn’t say anything. She doubts that screaming at an inebriated Azula in a locked bathroom would have a good outcome.

“I did.” She confirms, casting her eyes down as if she had done something bad. So, what if she came with Haru? Azula hasn’t spoken to her in days, and he asked Ty Lee to come. She’s going to the prom with him, so it only makes sense that she gets to know him. It’s all harmless.

“Do you like him?” It’s a question. Azula doesn’t ask questions, she demands answers. She states facts. Yet, it comes out as a question. Ty Lee finds it hard to read Azula’s tone, but she knows Azula well enough that the mere fact of asking a question politely is hard for her.

She doesn’t know what answer to give, though. She doesn’t _like_ him. He’s funny and his jokes are not borderline sexist. He’s handsome and nice and he holds doors open for her – but she doesn’t like him. She enjoys his company but can’t say she’s ecstatic to get back to him. He’s probably off somewhere with his friends, and she’s in a locked bathroom with the most infatuating person she’s ever met.

“He likes me.” She says, Azula’s unflinching gaze making her uneasy. Ty Lee wants to look away, finds solace in Sokka’s shower curtain – _Swords and boomerangs? Really?_ – but she doesn’t. She meets Azula’s gaze with her own.

“He likes you and isn’t afraid to say it.” Azula’s words come at her like daggers piercing her heart. “That still doesn’t make you like him back.”

At Azula’s statement, all the patience Ty Lee had been harboring evaporates. Her gaze turns into a glare. “How dare you.” She mutters, now being her the one cornering Azula against the wall. “How dare you say that. How dare you assume you know everything about me.” She’s not screaming – there’s no need, and they both know it. They can have a go at it without yelling at each other, because they both know the damage they can do with merely whispers.

“I _do_ know everything about you.” Azula says, her tone unnervingly calm for someone who’s cornered against the wall. “I know you don’t like him. I know he could bring the moon down for you and make the sun rise every morning from your window and you still wouldn’t like him.”

It only takes one pressure point and Azula would be rendered powerless – literally speaking. Ty Lee knows Azula wouldn’t use her fire bending against her, but she wants to know what it’d be like to be in control for once, and by blocking Azula’s chi paths, she _would_ be in control. She doesn’t though. She doesn’t respond, refuses to take Azula’s bait.

“At least he would try.” She whispers and Azula’s gaze hardens.

Azula tries to kiss her then, Ty Lee takes a step back and crosses her arms once again.

“You can’t keep doing this to me, Azula. You can’t. Either you want me, or you _don’t,_ but you have to say something!” Ty Lee pleads, and it takes everything in her to meet Azula’s gaze. She can feel tears streaming down her face, but she doesn’t care. “You say you know everything about me? Do you know how much I _like_ you? How I’d give _anything_ to be your girlfriend? To walk hand in hand with you down the hallway?” She punctuates each word, making sure Azula’s drunken self registers every single one of them. “Do you know how much I wanted for you to ask me to the prom? Or for me to ask you? No, you don’t. You think you know everything, but you _don’t_.”

Azula stands there, motionless, her eyes still meeting Ty Lee’s. They are glossy though, almost as if she wants to cry, too.

“Now you know though, what are you going to do about it?”

The question hangs in there, like a plea for something they both know they want but one of them is too scared to admit it to herself still.

Azula doesn’t answer her, and every second that passes is another stab on Ty Lee’s heart.

There’s a knock on the door and Sokka’s voice comes ringing from the outside, “Is anyone in there? I need to pee and if I use Katara’s bathroom again she’s going to kick the crap out of me.” The _again_ goes unspoken.

And just like that, it’s over. Azula bolts out of the door as soon as it’s unlocked and doesn’t look back. She doesn’t take Ty Lee’s hand this time. She doesn’t drag Ty Lee downstairs with her.

Ty Lee watches as Azula leaves and takes Ty Lee’s heart with her.


	2. on and on, like you were my first love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She doesn’t think she’ll ever get her heart back – not with the way Azula ran out of her at Sokka’s party. She doesn’t think she’d ever want it back, anyway. It’s Azula’s – it’s always been Azula’s. At least her heart is happy being in the hands of the one she loves, she thinks, while the rest of her is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wanted to thank you all for having read the first part and for leaving kuddos and commenting, it means the world to me. The second part's finally here! I had to write and rewrite it over and over, because like Azula, I too have some inkling of perfectionism within me. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. If you want for an enhanced reading experience, then go check out the playlist I listened to when writing this https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0YfyScDVsQlf3krjGDvr2v?si=GoMVtoE1TeShFt__lJQ6YQ  
> This chapter is dedicated to all of you - to the secret lovers, to the high school sweethearts, to the ones who yearn and the ones who don't. It's also dedicated to Naya Rivera, may she rest in peace.

Ty Lee remembers the first time they kissed.

They were both drunk, but she remembers. She would never let herself forget.

“You’re good at kissing.” Azula’s voice was hoarse. They had smoked cigars that night for the first time ever, and while neither of them had liked it and vowed to never do it again, they decided that giving it a shot wouldn’t hurt anybody. Mai had passed out on Azula’s bed – she had had way too much fun with the tequila bottle they had stolen from Ozai. Azula suggested it was a good idea to look at the moon because it was full and shiny, and Ty Lee agreed, just like she always did whenever Azula suggested they do anything.

They went outside, to Azula’s backyard, and sat down on a blanket Azula had brought with her so Ty Lee wouldn’t get cold – she knows the blanket was solely for her, because Azula _never_ gets cold.

“I guess.” Ty Lee had only kissed two boys in her entire life, and both boys had been sloppy and not memorable in the slightest.

“I’ve never been kissed.” It came out quietly, but Ty Lee caught it. She knew that admitting something like _that_ for someone like Azula was hard. They were sixteen and almost everybody in their class had kissed somebody.

“It’s not a big deal.” She said, because it truly wasn’t.

“I want to be prepared - I want to know _how._ ” _I want to be the best at kissing_ came without saying. Azula, ever since they met, had always wanted to be the best at everything - wouldn’t rest until she was.

Ty Lee wanted to tell her that she would know how when the time came, that it’d come naturally. Yet, the thought of Azula kissing someone – anyone - bugged her (of course at the time she didn’t know _why_ ) so she didn’t say anything.

“Can you teach me?” It was a request. Azula never asks for something, she _demands_ , but she asked then, and Ty Lee of course had no choice but to oblige.

She remembers being extremely nervous. Her palms were sweaty, and she could swear her throat had gone dry. She _had_ been kissed, but this was Azula. Anything less than perfect and it’d be a disappointment – Ty Lee didn’t want to be a disappointment.

She remembers nodding as a response and swallowing hard – she remembers hoping Azula wouldn’t notice how nervous she was. She remembers leaning in and pressing her lips against Azula’s and – oh, _soft_. So soft.

The kiss was awkward and a bit sloppy on Azula’s part. It had been a tequila induced mess. Nonetheless, Ty Lee remembers it as the kiss that had her heart crawling out of her body to take permanent residence in Azula’s hands.

She doesn’t think she’ll ever get her heart back – not with the way Azula ran out of her at Sokka’s party. She doesn’t think she’d ever want it back, anyway. It’s Azula’s – it’s always been Azula’s. At least her heart is happy being in the hands of the one she loves, she thinks, while the rest of her is not.

* * *

There’s a knock on the door that makes the pounding in her head even more unbearable. Hangovers and heartbreak _don’t_ mix well.

“Go away!” Ty Lee shouts – well, it’s more of a weak screech because she lacks the energy to _actually_ shout. If it’s one of her sisters again wanting to tease her for being so, and she quotes, ‘reckless with her drinking’, she’s going to lose it.

Mai bursts through the door with a paper bag in hand. Ty Lee would groan but Mai would tell her to suck it, so she doesn’t say anything. She’s surprised Mai even bothered to knock.

She stares wordlessly as Mai pulls out two bagels, a bottle of water and aspirins out of the bag and places them on the nightstand.

“Take the aspirins, eat, take a shower and meet me downstairs in twenty minutes.” Mai says and leaves with one of the bagel’s in hand.

Ty Lee reluctantly obliges.

* * *

“Where are we going?” Ty Lee asks as she gets inside Mai’s car. Her friend dragged her out of the house as soon as Ty Lee walked downstairs, yelling a quick thanks to Ty Lee’s mom for letting her in before shutting the door behind them.

Mai doesn’t reply, instead she hands Ty Lee her phone so she can pick the music. Mai never lets anyone else pick the music in _her_ car – this is unnerving. Ty Lee hesitantly rummages through Mai’s playlists – she’s not used to this kind of power - and finally settles on the one titled _if I were a vampire and could leave forever there’s no way I’d be heterosexual._

The ride is silent except for the music. Usually, Ty Lee would be the one trying to come up with interesting topics they could talk about, but she doesn’t feel like it. She wants to dig a hole, crawl inside it, and stay there until she gets over what happened with Azula – until she gets over Azula in _general_.

Mai parks the car once they reach their high school. She gets out and Ty Lee does the same.

“Mai, it’s a _Sunday_.” As in, they are not supposed to be at school on a Sunday. It’s not about the rule breaking, it’s about the fact that it’s a Sunday and Sundays (as well as Saturdays) are sacred for being school-free days. She’s heartbroken and hungover, and she doesn’t want to ride out her misery in their _high school_.

Silence. She’d be annoyed but adding _annoyance_ to her set of emotions right now would be the tip of the iceberg. 

Yet, despite receiving no answer, she follows Mai. They jump over the fence with ease and she’s reminded of all the times they’ve done this – Mai, Ty Lee and Azula – all the times they’ve jumped over fences as they sneaked away from the police, all the times they’ve climbed on top of cars and ran as if they were chasing the sun. All the times they’ve ran around together as if the world was their playground and they could conquer it all - Azula’s always made them feel like they _could_.

Mai stops when they reach a tree Ty Lee’s vaguely familiar with, but she can’t place _why_.

“This is the tree of lovers.” Mai speaks for the first time in what feels like forever. _Oh, so that’s_ why _it seemed familiar_. It’s famous around the school because supposedly the tree had been planted a thousand years ago. It’s lasted through countless generations, through countless disasters. It’s passed the test of time. It’s said that if you carve into the tree the initial of your significant other and yours, that your love will last forever. Countless couples have done this, sometimes even planting flowers around as a symbol of gratitude towards the tree. “Zuko and I left Sokka’s party and came here, because we wanted to carve our initials.” She shows Ty Lee the spot where she carved very meticulously _Z + M._

Ty Lee smiles brightly. “And here I thought I’d never see the day you’d be such a sap.” She teases good-naturedly and moves to hug Mai. She’s happy for her friend – she genuinely is. Love is a wonderful thing and to get to experience it in its entirety is a miracle.

Mai hugs her back if only briefly – she’s never been a hugger. “That’s not why I brought you here.” She says and Ty Lee waits patiently for her to continue. It seems like Mai’s still mulling over whether bringing Ty Lee here had been a good idea at all, because she takes some time before she adds, “I need you to look closely at the back of the tree. It’s at the bottom.”

And Ty Lee does. She moves to look at the back, crouching down and examining the bottom closely. There it is, at the bottom just like Mai said. Tears fill her eyes.

_T + A_

“Zuko wanted to leave as soon as I was done, but I told him I wanted to look around, see if I recognized any couples.” Mai explains, crouching down besides Ty Lee, placing a hand on her shoulder. “He waited as I looked around. I couldn’t believe it when I first saw it. I _know_ , it could be anybody, you two are not the only ones with those initials.” There are countless couples with the initials T and A, it _could_ be anybody. “But then I remembered that, about a few months ago, Azula asked me if she could borrow one of my knives.” Ever since Ty Lee can remember, Mai’s been known to carry knives around, and she’s never asked why. She just rolled with it, as did Azula. “She never asks for things. She took her sweet time and when she gave it back it was less sharp than it had been when I lent it to her. I didn’t think much of it and I didn’t ask her what she wanted it for – it’s _Azula_.” That’s enough explanation. “But when I saw this, it clicked.”

Ty Lee chokes down a sob. Why would Azula do _this_? It’s clear she doesn’t want the same things Ty Lee wants with the way she ran out of the bathroom at Sokka’s party. It’s always been clear with the way the subject of them sneaking around to kiss has never been brought up in the entire _year_ they’ve been doing it.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but Zuko told me this morning Azula was a mess when she got home.” Mai says before standing up, Ty Lee follows suit. They’re both very athletic but being crouched down while one sobs hysterically can’t be good for their knees. “I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me, and I don’t know exactly what she’s feeling or why she carved both your initials into the tree, but she does care. She _cares_.”

“I thought you said I deserved better.” Ty Lee mumbles and wipes at her eyes. Tears can’t stop flowing down her face – she _knows_ that on top of being hungover, she’ll have a terrible headache due to the dehydration from crying too much, but right now she can’t dwell on it.

“And you do.” Mai states firmly – Ty Lee knows it comes from the fact that they are best friends. She’d say the same thing to Azula – that she deserves the very best, just as Ty Lee and Azula would say the same thing to Mai. They all love each other that much. “You didn’t hear her complain about how Haru wouldn’t be a good enough date for you for two whole days. I’m surprised she hasn’t burned down his house.”

That last part makes Ty Lee laugh.

“I’m sorry if my suggesting you go with him led to whatever it is that happened between you two.” Mai mumbles, patting Ty Lee’s back to provide some sort of comfort. It may not be a hug, but somehow, it’s infinitely better.

Ty Lee shakes her head. “It’s not your fault, you didn’t _make_ me do anything.” It had been her frustration at Azula, and the need to prove herself that no matter how much she _loves_ Azula, she can’t let Azula control her.

Even if that hadn’t happened though - even if she hadn’t said yes to Haru or gone with him to the party, there was bound to be some other catalyst.

She sighs and wipes at her eyes with the sleeves of her jacket. She can’t deny that seeing hers and Azula’s initials on the tree had made her heart flutter. She can’t deny that the romance behind it all made her heart swell with love and longing.

Alas, she can’t also deny that Azula walked out on her when she poured her heart out.

This doesn’t change anything. Ty Lee opened the door to her heart wide open for Azula to enter, and the girl had shut the door in her face.

“Thank you for this.” She tells Mai, and her friend musters a sad smile.

They go back to the car then, Mai vowing to take her home so she can ride out her hangover in peace.

* * *

The next day, Ty Lee approaches Haru at his locker. She pulls him aside and tells him, “I can’t go to the prom with you, I’m _really_ sorry.” And she is. He’s nice, and he’d have been a wonderful date – but it’s the right thing to do. Her heart is in another place, and he doesn’t deserve to be led on.

He tells her that it’s okay, that she shouldn’t worry about it, and that he had the feeling she wasn’t feeling him that much.

The prom is a month away and she’s dateless. She doesn’t mind. She can still dance the night away if she so pleases, with or without a date.

* * *

Azula doesn’t go to school for the whole week. It’s disconcerting - she’s never missed school before – even when Mai tried to get them to ditch class, Azula wouldn’t budge.

Zuko approaches her one day to tell her that Azula went to visit their mother for the week. Ty Lee finds it odd, since she knows that Ursa and Azula have never been close, but she decides not to comment on it. She merely smiles at him and thanks him for letting her know.

It hurts that he had to be the one to tell her instead of Azula.

During the day, she tries to take her mind off things. She goes to her classes and pays more attention than usual. She grabs lunch with her cheerleader friends and Mai, she reads self help books and avoids listening to sad music at any cost. She organizes the prom with Suki and the girls, going over every single detail to ensure it’s perfect.

She tries to be the strong, optimistic person she’s always been.

During the day, she manages – it’s when the night comes that she lets herself suffer.

Ty Lee’s tried calling, texts messages, emails but nothing. She’s tried begging, bargaining, even going as far as telling Azula they could forget the whole thing if it meant going back to how they were even before the kissing began – typing that had hurt, but she misses Azula, and she’d gladly do anything to have her back. Even if it means breaking her own heart in the process.

All her calls and emails are unanswered, and all her text messages left on read. She’s pretty sure that by Friday she has clogged Azula’s voice mail.

* * *

It’s a Saturday when she sees Azula again, exactly a week after the _incident_.

It’s noon when Azula shows up. Ty Lee’s mouth falls open when she opens the door.

Azula looks lighter than she’s ever looked - her hair is down, and her smile is softer than Ty Lee’s ever seen it. She looks so beautiful it makes Ty Lee want to cry. Azula’s beauty has always been apparent to her – while it’s sometimes camouflaged by her harsh exterior, Ty Lee’s always seen it. Right now, she looks as if weight has been lifted off her shoulders and she can breathe for the first time in forever.

Ty Lee would’ve strangled her though, if she hadn’t missed her so much.

She throws her arms around Azula’s neck without a second thought, she feels Azula’s arms tentatively circling her waist in return. _Home. This is what home feels like_. Azula smells of lavender and honey, and Ty Lee breathes her in, so she can carry Azula’s scent wherever she goes.

They stand that way for a while – holding each other in front of Ty Lee’s house. They could stand there holding each other forever and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Suddenly, the painful memories come crashing down on her, which prompts her to pull back – Azula does the same.

“I’m sorry-“

“I’m so, so, sorry Azula-“

They both speak at the same time and laugh when they realize that. Her eyes go a bit wide when it registers to her that Azula’s apologizing, too. Azula _never_ apologizes. She motions for Azula to go first, leading her towards the back of the house so they can talk comfortably. Memories of them running around as children flood her brain. All the laughs, the tears when one of them would fall over. The games they’d play in their pre-adolescent years in that same backyard, the games that would escalate and become more reckless as years went by.

“First of all, I apologize for my absence.” Azula says, sitting down on the swings as Ty Lee does the same. They’ve spent countless hours in these swings – would dare the other to get as high as she could before jumping. Azula’s looking intently at Ty Lee – _her gaze is softer, too_ , and she swallows before continuing. “It’s inexcusable, but I needed to take some time to think some things through.” _I hope you can understand that_ goes without saying. Ty Lee does, in a way. She was hurt - she still is, but she understands. “I apologize for the way I left at the party, for being such a bitch about you going with Haru to the prom. For being such a bitch in general. I apologize for bailing on you like that, it’ll _never_ happen again.”

Ty Lee’s grip on the chains tighten to keep herself from throwing her arms around Azula once again. She wants to tell Azula that it doesn’t matter, that all is forgiven, that she understands. But Azula hurt her, badly. She deserves to hear a lengthy apology, if not more – she knows that.

“I’m _sorry_ for everything I’ve ever done, and everything I’ve never said.” Azula continues, biting on her lower lip – Ty Lee tries not to think on all the times she’s bitten Azula’s lip herself, and how soft it is. “I want to make it up to you. I want to make up everything to you. I’m sorry. I’m so, sorry Ty Lee. I’ll understand if you never wish to speak to me again.”

That’s never going to be an option. Ty Lee rises and hugs Azula carefully as to not make the girl fall off the swings. Azula hugs her back, more tightly than before, and sniffles. “I’m sorry, too.” She says, pulling back from the hug to look at Azula.

Azula frowns, “ _You_ ’re sorry? For what?”

Ty Lee shrugs and takes a deep breath. “For snapping at the party, for pushing you.”

“I was the one pushing you, I was the one taunting you, you didn’t do anything or say anything wro-“ Azula starts but Ty Lee cuts her off swiftly.

“It takes two. With things like this, it always takes two. One can’t take all the blame.” _We’re a team_ , she wants to say, _it’s you and me_ – but she doesn’t. She knows what she must do to fix this, even if it breaks her heart to do so. “Things can go back to the way they were, I want us to go back to the way we were before it got so complicated.” _Before our first kiss, before we got so tangled up into this mess it was hard to tell if we were friends, lovers, or nothing_.

Azula doesn’t speak for a few minutes. Ty Lee worries she might have said something wrong, something that’d tick Azula off and make her go running again. _But she promised she’d not bail again, she promised._

When she does speak, her voice is croaky, husky, as if she’s having a hard time speaking at all, “Is that what you want?”

_No._ “Yes. I want us to be the friends we were again.”

“Okay, anything you want.”

Both of their hearts shatter, but at least their friendship’s mended. It’s a start.

Can it be called friendship when all Ty Lee wants to do is pull Azula in for a kiss though? If Azula’s name is carved into her heart and soul? If all she wants to do is kiss and kiss and kiss Azula and never stop kissing her?

It _can_ – and it must.

* * *

Days go by and things start to go back to normal between the two of them – more specifically, the normal _before_ all the alcohol induced kissing.

Whenever they go to a party, they drink together but don’t go the bathroom like they used to. Instead, they laugh and dance together in the living room with their peers. They play drinking games together as a team and always win because _my team always wins, Ty Lee_. They joke around and tease each other, even going as far as joking about amiably about all their kissing – between the two of them only, of course. It’s good-natured, it’s light. They’re lighter than they’ve been in a long time.

Mai never once comments on Azula’s absence or in the fact that they are suddenly attached by the hip once again. She revels in it, too, and Ty Lee knows it’s because she loves having the three of them together again.

Ty Lee rejects anyone who asks her to go to the prom with her once word’s out that Haru’s taking Katara.

They go back to having sleep overs with Zuko and Mai. They go back to getting high and cracking jokes and to playing _truth or dare_ and Ty Lee doesn’t fear the weed will make her say things she shouldn’t.

They go back to existing as two beings who are better together than apart. They just exist – no worries, no sneaking around, no second thoughts. No more stepping on eggshells as to no freak Azula out, no more Azula taunting Ty Lee.

It’s _still_ there, though. The longing.

She tries to tone it down as much as she can – the yearning for something that can’t be, and most of the time she’s successful.

But sometimes, when she sleeps over at Azula’s or vice versa and it’s only the two of them, they wake up tangled up in each other. Sometimes, when Azula and her reach for something at the same time and their hands touch, the tingling in her hand lasts for an entire day. Sometimes, she stares at Azula when she knows Azula isn’t looking. Sometimes, her gaze still lingers a little too long on Azula’s lips. Sometimes she can feel her heart taking root in her body once again, only for it to leave at night and accompany Azula as she sleeps.

(Sometimes Ty Lee feels Azula’s eyes on her when she’s not looking. Sometimes Ty Lee catches a faint blush on Azula’s cheeks when Ty Lee compliments her on her bending, or her intelligence, or her appearance. Sometimes she swears Azula’s breath hitches whenever their fingers touch when they walk down the hallway together.)

Those _sometimes_ are things friends normally wouldn’t do, and Ty Lee knows that.

Even if they are friends again and are at their very best since everything went south – even if she knows that being friends is what’s best for them, Ty Lee lets the longing win. _Sometimes_.

* * *

“I can’t believe you’re dragging me into this. Prom’s tomorrow and I’ve still got to pick the shoes I’m going to wear!” Ty Lee complains for the seventh time since Mai picked her up. Mai rolls her eyes and continues dragging her down the steps that lead towards Zuko’s and Azula’s house.

Mai had showed up at Ty Lee’s house with the news that she had planned an elaborate plan to pull on Zuko and that she needed Ty Lee’s help for it, insisting all the while that it couldn’t wait. It’s a Friday evening and while Ty Lee normally wouldn’t mind spending it with a friend - be that as it may, she has a lot to do still to prepare for the prom – dateless or not, she’s still going to shine, thank you very much.

They come to a halt once they reach the door and Mai pulls a scarf out of her bag. Ty Lee arches an eyebrow. “It’s for the prank.” Mai clarifies, and doesn’t wait for Ty Lee to respond before covering Ty Lee’s eyes with the scarf. “I’m going to convince Zuko you’re going to jump off the roof. He’ll panic and maybe even cry – who knows, it’ll be fun.”

Ty Lee huffs but nods. She’s not afraid of being blindfolded, nor is she afraid of standing on top of a roof that way. She’s done it a _thousand_ times, what with being a skilled acrobat and all.

She feels as Mai pulls her inside and frowns lightly when she hears harsh whispers all around her. She recognizes Azula’s voice and feels more confident. If Azula’s in on the prank, too, then this thing will go smoothly and she’ll back home in time to get everything ready for tomorrow. There’s also the fact that she feels more relaxed being blindfolded with Azula around – she knows Azula wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

She almost trips thrice, Mai stifling back a laugh each time, a contrast with Azula’s groans. She doesn’t believe she’s being guided towards the roof though. For one, she’d have to climb several stairs. Two, she remembers that each time she’s stood on the roof blindfolded, she’s always put the blindfold _after_ getting to the roof, not before. She frowns. Are they going to pull a prank on _her_?

Mai’s grip on her suddenly loses and Azula’s harsh whispers stop and she’s left standing by herself.

When she feels herself starting to get nervous, she senses someone untying the scarf. It falls off her face and all she can see is light.

There are hundreds of candles all over Azula’s backyard, with Azula standing in the middle of them. When her eyes adjust to the light, Ty Lee can make out the shape the candles are making – a heart.

Azula’s wearing a breathtaking red dress that compliments her entire aura. Her hair is loose – like it’s been for a few weeks now. Her eyes are shining, and Ty Lee doesn’t know if it’s due to the way they reflect the light coming from the candles or due to something else. 

Suddenly, she feels self-conscious about her choice of clothing – shorts and a tank top. She was _supposed_ to spend a quiet evening in, she hadn’t planned on _this_.

“I know what you’re thinking – and no, you don’t look underdressed. You look beautiful.” Azula breaks the silence and takes a few steps towards Ty Lee, confidence oozing out of her.

“I was actually thinking that if you’re not careful, these candles could cause a fire.” Ty Lee jokes nervously. _Not a joke entirely, it_ could _happen._

Azula chuckles, “I’m a fire bending prodigy. I lit all these candles up; I can put them all out in a second.”

Ty Lee has no choice but to agree.

“Remember when I came back after being with my mother?” Azula starts, looking intently at Ty Lee. She waits for Ty Lee to nod before continuing. “I went to your house to apologize to you, but also because I wanted to tell you something important.” She swallows and keeps taking small steps towards Ty Lee as she speaks. “My time with my mother helped me realize many things, like how I was an idiot and how many internal _issues_ I still have to work through, but the most important thing I realized is that _I’m in love with you_. I love you, Ty Lee.”

Ty Lee’s heart skips a beat – several, in fact – at the admission. It hangs in there, floating through the air. The words playing over and over in her head until she’s _sure_ she heard Azula right.

“I was going to tell you then, but you said you wanted to be the friends we were and- Well, I would’ve done anything you wanted. I always will.” Azula says, the way she’s licking her lips every now and then betraying her confident demeanor, “You don’t have to say it back, you don’t have to do anything. We can keep being friends, I just… I just had to say it. The words have been itching to leave my mouth for weeks now – Actually, if I’m being honest, they’ve been wanting to leave my mouth forever.”

Azula’s merely inches away from her – she can hear Azula’s breathing, can almost sense the way her heart is pounding wildly in her chest. Ty Lee’s sure hers is doing the same thing.

She doesn’t respond, instead she envelops Azula into a hug – because they _are_ friends first, they always will be. She pulls back a little to look at Azula – tears are brimming in her eyes. She glances at Azula’s lips and leans in – she wants to convey every single emotion she’s feeling into the kiss. The kiss is soft and gentle and it’s the best they’ve ever had. No one’s drunk this time, no one’s going to run away. It’s romantic and epic, and as their lips dance with each other, she can feel Azula’s heart taking root in her hands.

She pulls back and Azula’s smiling widely. It’s not the kind of smile she musters when people are in awe of her lighting, or the one that adorns her face when she’s parading her many accomplishments. It’s _sincere_. It’s soft. It’s a smile born out of happiness and _love_.

“I love you, too.” The words have been itching to leave her mouth forever as well.

Azula lifts her up and spins her around, Ty Lee giggles and lets her. She’s always felt like spinning around like a little girl whenever she’s with Azula, anyway.

“You did all this to tell me you love me?” Ty Lee asks once Azula puts her back down, a soft smile gracing her lips. She reaches to take Azula’s hand and Azula lets her – she even squeezes Ty Lee’s hand gently as if to say _your hand and my hand will always be intertwined, I promise you_.

“Yes _and_ no. This is where we had our first kiss.” _She remembers, too,_ Ty Lee thinks, the smile on her face growing wider. “I not only wanted to confess my undying love for you here, I also wanted to ask if you’d do me the _honor_ of going to the prom with me.” She pauses for a second, mulling her words over before adding, “I’m still not ready for everybody to _know_ , but I would be honored if you would go with me.”

Ty Lee doesn’t even have to reply – she kisses Azula once again, a million yeses echoing in every kiss.

With every kiss comes the promise of forever, with every kiss the promise of a _beginning_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? :D Comments are gladly accepted! You can also talk to me in Tumblr https://harleenquinzel.tumblr.com/ - my inbox is always open! I'm thinking of adding more stories to this universe, but I'm still mulling it over. For now, this is it. Thank you for reading!


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